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Jeffrey, Interrupted

Jeffrey, Interrupted

So, Jeffrey Epstein, longtime pedo-facilitator and collector of truly bad art, has been reported dead. People are angry. People are angry that he will not have his day in court, that his victims will never see justice, and that his cohorts will never see the noose.

There were rumors of temples, massive stores of compromising photos and videos, now it’s gone. He’s gone. It’s all gone. So sloppy. For the first time in a long time, though, there is bipartisan agreement: everyone—literally everyone—with a pulse and an IQ above room temperature is saying this is a hoax. They say he is murdered. They say there was a body double. They say Hillary killed him herself. They say anything is possible at this point. Aliens maybe. White Supremacist aliens.

Still, wherever the temptation arises to entertain fanciful theories of conspiracy, the more level-headed among us often cite the principle of Occam’s Razor: the easy answer is the right one. That is to say, fewer moving parts, fewer freak occurrences, fewer precise requirements. Oddly enough, looking at the situation with Epstein, the easiest answer to the question of why he is not currently in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center is that he may not be dead after all. 


If you’re Simple Jeff, why even kill yourself at all? You beat the rap before, and that was before you had a non-prosecution deal. You’ve got a fair portion of the global leadership by the throat, and while they might want to kill you, they have to get you out of prison to do it because no one is getting to anyone in the Special Housing Unit (SHU). Will you get smoked the second you leave? It’s a concern, but you can worry about that on the outside. Besides, as soon as you drop a dime on everyone you have dirt on, they’ll be working full time to cheat the hangman; they have a lot more to worry about than killing Jeff Epstein.

Of course you never know what’s going through a man’s head, but even if it was as bad as all that, killing yourself while in federal custody is not so easy. Former guests of both facilities say the MCC is more restrictive than Gitmo. Could Epstein’s lawyers sneak something in? Possibly. Cyanide? Maybe. But is it more likely that a lawyer who is already making a boatload from this case is going to cut his timecard short so he can help his client kill himself? How much would make it worth that lawyer’s time? More than his hourly rate would have been, I imagine, but how will he launder that money? What would Occam say?

As for a do-it-yourself job, if Simple Jeff was going to close up shop and leave the party early, he would be far from the first person to make the attempt at the Metropolitan Correctional Facility. In fact, per the official report, he is the first successful suicide in 21 years. That is to say that a guy who got off on almost the exact same charges as he was staring down the barrel of that only netted him 13 months house arrest in 2008, was suddenly overcome with grief to a degree that he figured out a way to kill himself in a place where the worst of the worst have been unable to accomplish for over two decades. Not impossible, perhaps, but as they say in the prom-dress industry, not easy to pull off.  Perhaps there is a simpler explanation.



Obviously, the list of people who would prefer to see this unsavory Chosenite turned to worm-food is not a short one. However, as has been discussed in some circles from a legal perspective, a dead Jeffery is a Jeffrey who is unable to legally contest the release of evidence related to his case. This would seem like reason enough to leave well enough alone if you’re anyone from Slick Willy to Ben Affleck; Jeff in court means your story might get out, Jeff on a slab means your story could very likely get out.  

Additionally, getting a sweaty-eyed assassin into the MCC, into the SHU, and into Epstein’s cell, and then out of the building again, with all of the cameras turned off as needed, that’s a really tall order, even for a Bill or a Hillary. Added to which, where before you had a guy you wanted dead because he might expose you for kiddie-fiddling, now you’ve got a whole stack of prison employees and at least one hit-man who can implicate you in a murder; not much of a step up, and you’re putting in overtime to get it.

While clipping Jeffrey is a high bar and a low incentive for a private person or even a politician, getting Mr. Epstein stiffened up one last time could be an ideal outcome for at least one or two intelligence services. We are becoming painfully aware that Jeffrey Epstein, Semitic as his name clearly suggests, was thick as thieves with Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of the late and Levantine Robert Maxwell. Robert Maxwell, born in Czechoslovakia as Jan Ludvik Hyman Binyamin Hoch, was a key player in movement of arms from Eastern Europe to the newly formed state of Israel. After moving to the West, Hoch/Maxwell continued to serve Israeli intelligence as he built a publishing empire in the UK, with his daughter Ghislaine close at hand.

The takeaway here is twofold, one, that Jeffrey Epstein was exactly one person removed from the top-of-the-totem-pole string-pullers in Israel intelligence. Judging by the high-powered company he kept and the records maintained of those interactions, it is safe to say that if he was not working with an aim toward intelligence collection and biographical leverage (read: blackmail), then he truly missed his calling; this walks like a duck.



The more concerning half of this takeaway though, is that even though every cannibal on the Congo was well aware of the Lolita Express and Epstein’s shenanigans, US Intel never took action or appears to have made an effort to prevent interaction between Epstein and American policymakers. In plain-speak, that is to say, that the CIA and FBI were well aware that Epstein was collecting for purposes of leveraging, but no one said a word; no one had their clearance pulled, no one was removed from sensitive positions. To make it clear how particular US Intel is about Security Clearances, having over $10K in unsecured debt, a  family member or regular contact in a foreign country, or any undisclosed sexual pecadillos is enough to have a Secret clearance pulled pending further investigation. In contrast, many of the people being worked by our Jeffrey would look at Top Secret material like a USA Today in the lobby of a cheap hotel.

If we assume then (and we safely can) that Epstein was working in service to Israel, it stands to reason that a best outcome from the kosher perspective is for him to be liquidated. US Department of Justice or anyone else who would stand to come into possession of the compromising information accumulated by Simple Jeff would likely either short-sell it for a few dollars or serve it up as evidence for prosecution. They would not be able to leverage it with the same effectiveness as would Mossad, and would likely expose themselves in the process if they tried, making them an immediate target. Either way, Israel would always have a clear idea where they stood with regards to remaining usefulness of the intel collected by Epstein, so having him around is more trouble than it is worth.

Still, the same difficulties persist; how do they get someone inside? How do you bribe or leverage that many guards? The warden of the prison? Money and leverage might do the job, but could they not just apply the same approach to DOJ personnel? Surely it would be easier to handle someone accustomed to playing the game at a high level than to pin your nation’s hopes on some Joey Lunchbox who you can only hope has to good sense not to run his mouth after one too many Schlitz’s. Even then, you would have to know that no one would buy it. The relationship of your country with the Americans who pay that oh-so-handsome foreign aid tab is on thin ice, and you’ve just robbed them of their much desired slow-roast of a multi-generational child rapist. It’s hard to imagine pitching this course of action to any intelligence service outside of Pakistan as a preferable to what would have otherwise resulted.



So if you’re Mossad, dead is better, but still a very tall order. The CIA, however…this offers a far more elegant scenario. As outlined earlier, politicians for years were getting turned out like 5-dollar crack whores and the CIA appears for all intents and purposes to have done nothing but sit idly by. No doubt, a lot of pockets got filled with a lot of shekels and a few missteps with a few 14 year-olds got funneled into the bottom of a few drawers, but everyone played ball and only the US tax-payers were really getting fleeced, so everything was as good as it was going to get. But no one likes being someone’s bitch, and the intel geeks, and geeks they are, still do not get to play in the big leagues without a kind of drive that makes being in someone’s pocket sit like a stone in the pit of their stomach; they do not like it, Sam-I-Am.

But now here’s this Epstein. He ducked out once before, dodged a bullet, cut a deal, and everyone who was anyone came to his aid to keep him in one piece, keep his airplanes flying, and keep the underage ass rolling in. He could have dipped, packed it in, threw down the Birthright card like so many other pedo’s, and lived out his days schlepping and kvetching with his fellow Chosenites across what was once the ancestral home of some goyim sheep-herder or other. Instead, he stayed in the game. More temples, more islands, more naked massages from very young girls, and next thing you know, he’s pinched.

If I’m CIA, this is my big chance. Who does he know, what does he have, who does it go to, who calls the shots. If I get this guy, I can make a major step in creating some distance between US Intel and the Tiny Hat Gang. But like anything in the intel game, it’s no good if everyone knows what you’re holding. It’s even more complicated if he puts up a fight in court, y’know, like last time.

But if he’s dead, or even just declared dead, well then who’s going to argue? What, is Mossad going to protest and demand their spy back? The info in the evidence file no longer matters, because you’ve got the genuine article, and so far as anyone else knows, he’s not saying anything, because he is among the Departed. You can know what he knows, who he got it from, where it’s going, what direction is this going, and most importantly, who else is involved in this six-pointed circus. And best of all, no one can ask what this guy is giving up, because he’s dead.

The trick is to pull it off, and it’s not actually so tricky.



You want him out of prison, but how do you do it. Well, the MCC is a joint facility. Meaning it is shared by both Federal and State authorities. To the degree that Epstein was a high profile/ high-risk guest, that may or may not have facilitated scheduling additional or unfamiliar guards alongside the normal roster of guards. Added to this, several reports quote guards as saying the schedule had been changed frequently in the weeks leading up to Epstein’s untimely departure. With guards working longer hours, irregular shifts, and possibly being alongside unfamiliar faces, the question of “who was supposed to be watching Simple Jeff of August 10th?” might get a very truthful response of “nobody knows for sure.”

As for clearance to pull this off, making the rendition (because that’s what this would have been) of Epstein a matter of national security would put a federal warden in a position to be subject to a federal non-disclosure agreement. Based on first-hand experience, let it be said that these are no joke. You are directed to sign documents stating that you are cooperating with the directive yet to be explained and that you will never discuss the matter with anyone not involved in the project, and not at all once your role I the project is completed, on pain of imprisonment. Only then will you be briefed on what is to transpire and what your role in it will be.

As a federal employee, this would be easy to lay out for the warden. Our people will become part of the guard staff, we will adjust the schedule as needed, we will adjust the surveillance as needed, and then we will be gone. The only other people to be concerned with are the other prisoners. However, in the Special Housing Unit, prisoners are not kept behind bars, but behind solid steel doors. Whether or not those doors have any kind of window or if there are clocks in the cells is not clear at this time. Still, what can a prisoner say? You saw what appeared to be guards at what might have been Epstein’s cell? What time? What were they doing? It’s not like anyone is interviewing prisoners anyway. Easy peezy, lemon-squeezy, and that’s Jeffrey in the wind.



This of course is all speculation. What actually happened or how it went down might never come out. But what we can do is wait and see what shakes out. If Epstein is in fact dead, one would think he would have had a deadman’s switch or some kind of insurance policy as a final up-yours to the people he hustled that would have presumably contributed to his demise; we should expect nothing less from a man who wanted his dick frozen for posterity.

If Mossad got him, either extracted him or liquidated him, though both those scenarios would be truly impressive pieces of works, we should expect everything to continue as before. Politicians will vote for war and funding to our Greatest Ally, and Hollywood celebs will continue spouting about things that they know nothing about; although the latter will probably happen anyway. Additionally, we should expect someone to take his place, someone with access to the same people in order to maintain continuity between the wire-pullers and the people too stupid not to bang 14 year-olds at a stranger’s house; Jared Kushner comes to mind. We should also expect either radio silence from our own Intel service, appropriate for another in a long line of dropped balls, or a massive bombshell of foiled terror plots and exposed networks; this could be bad for us.

If, however, US intel had the foresight to snatch up this degenerate, it is extremely possible we could see new life breathed into US government. Those involved will either be made aware that they have dodged a bullet, or may be publicly named before they go into hiding, only to reappear in a few years at a gay pride event, riding a pedo-float. We should also in this event, expect Israel to suffer some grave and newsworthy tragedy, as they always do when they are about to be called to account for their behavior, and require the immediate and expensive assistance of their loyal American friends.

So, like the blind man said as he reached for his dog, we’ll just have to see.

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